Mistaken Identity!

It’s cold in San Francisco, so I tend to wear highly-technical gear while I’m training for my races.  So that explains why I was in this suit last weekend when I was finishing up a 50 mile practice ride on my bike down Castro.  I was surprised when the van pulled up behind me and three men jumped out.  They ran up to me and asked if I was someone named Trapper Smith.  I thought they asked if I was Trevor Smith (that’s my name after all; Trevor Smith).  When I said “yes, that’s me”, all three of them grabbed me and threw me in the van.  I tried to fight them off as they locked these science fiction looking metal cuffs on my wrists (behind my back) and my ankles, and then stretched a Spandex hood over my head.

It was a short ride to their place.  They kept talking about how some people named MetalBond and Feather were going to like round two.  I had no idea what they were talking about, but when I kept telling them that my name wasn’t Trapper Smith they laughed and sarcastically started calling me Agent Smith.

I had no idea what was going on!

Eventually they parked their van and carried me into a house.  I struggled as hard as I could, but with my wrists and ankles bound as they were I wasn’t much of a match for them.  I was dropped into a chair in a dimly lit room, and over the next 20 minutes they covered me from head to toe in impossibly tight leather straps.  There were dozens of them!  All pulled way too tight!  As if that wasn’t enough, they then locked a heavy metal collar around my neck, which was fixed to a metal pole somewhere above me.  The whole time I kept telling them they have the wrong man, but they wouldn’t listen.

I fought against my leather and metal restraints binding me to the chair for probably another ten minutes, when the room was suddenly flooded with intense white light.  It took a while to get used to these lights.  When I did, I noticed the video camera attached to a bar hanging from the ceiling.  It was directly in front of me, and was pointed directly at me.  I was still trying to figure out what was going on, when one of the guys came into the room and started talking.  But instead of talking to me, he was talking directly into the camera.

He went on for a few minutes talking about how they captured someone called Agent Smith, and how I was in real trouble once someone named Alice showed up.  He referenced a place called the the Serious Bondage Institute often…

I didn’t care what was going.  I just wanted out.  I struggled as hard as I could, but there was nothing I could do against these restraints.  I had gone from a world class athlete training for another race to a pawn in a kinky fetish bondage video show.  And I have to admit, it was pretty obvious to those watching that I started liking the situation.

You should have seen their faces when another guy walked in the front door dressed in a similar black and red compression suit and asked “Hey, who’s he?”.  The shock lasted for probably thirty seconds before the head guy (named Mark, I later found out) said “holy shit”.

It took them forever to find the keys to unlock the wrist restraint.  When they did, they apologized profusely.  I kept telling them it was OK.  I explained to them I had been getting a lot of strange looks lately, and a lot of random people coming up to me asking me if I was that guy on the Internet.  At least now I know why…

They were locking down the real Trapper Smith by now.  When they asked what they could to make it up to me so I didn’t go to the police, I smiled.  Picking up the vibrator, I asked if I could have some alone time with the guy who was now firmly chained and strapped to the chair just like I was.

“Holy shit.”  That’s all Mark could say when I locked the door behind me, ensuring that whatever I was going to do to this Trapper Smith could not be stopped.  Not by them, and not by the hundreds of people still watching all of this unfold on the live video stream still beaming across the planet.

Yeah, that was definitely an interesting day…

-Trevor Smith (NOT Trapper Smith!)

p.s. Just incase you don’t believe me, here are some pics of me strapped down before they discovered their mistake.  I guess you can find some more of these pics here